Love this song...
I haven't ever really found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize once again I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind
that your heart ain't exactly breaking
It's just a thought, only a thought
But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
I've always thought
that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone
and live more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me
It's just a thought, only a thought
But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down
While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try
Well how can I say I'm alive
If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
Cos nothing I have is truly mine
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Life is not pleasant all the time!
What a title!
Sometimes I wish I could have had a REW button to push and could change the past! But such a button doesn't exist!
Sometimes I feel so weak and it makes me feel unenergetic and sad! But I am trying to be myself! A confident girl who is enegic and eager to know more about everything.
I am lazy, but I am focused whenever I need to be focused.
I can do anything I really want to.
I can not change the past, I can not see what happens tomorrow, but I have HOPE.
I don't accept people judge me without letting me to defend myself...
Sometimes I wish I could have had a REW button to push and could change the past! But such a button doesn't exist!
Sometimes I feel so weak and it makes me feel unenergetic and sad! But I am trying to be myself! A confident girl who is enegic and eager to know more about everything.
I am lazy, but I am focused whenever I need to be focused.
I can do anything I really want to.
I can not change the past, I can not see what happens tomorrow, but I have HOPE.
I don't accept people judge me without letting me to defend myself...
Hate!
I don't know how long I need to continue this lie that "Everything is going to be fine"!
We are so different, so different that we can't even manage to talk to eachother!
He is always so negative about everything and everyone!
Why do I continiue to live with him?
I think I am afraid of him! There is no LOVE/LIKE or even a habit to live with him. I am afraid of him since we got married! That's all. All these years I tried so hard to like him; find a way to understand him and the problems he has had in his past and childhood, but I didn't succeed.
I fought for every details everyone can imagine. I got some of my rights like using perfume when I went outside, or changing my old home t-shirt when we were going to visit friends and their parents! Whenever I remember these I hate myself more... why do I continue to live with him?
He is not a confident person, but he acts like he is! That's why he doesn't want to have me with him in public. He, himself says he is the luckiest man because he has me! He says he couldn't think he could have had some one like me in his dreams! but he pushes me away all the time. He thinks he has to dominate the marrige to keep it! He doesn't know me at all!
I don't know why he tries to keep me if he thinks I have a relationship with another man? Does he really think I have an affair or it is just because he needs an excuse to behave like this?!
I am not a person who can stand foul language! I am not used to his abusive words he is using! A kind of language I thought just rubbish, unedjucated people use to protect themselves from all the problems they have had. Now one of these people is my husband!
I have to stand on my feet and leave him as soon as possible.
I need a man who loves me for real, and treats me well as I deserve. I know I am a smart woman and can have a good future without having him in my life.
The only thing that worries me is my daughter. I can not show her my feelings, because I feel soooo guilty to gave birth to her and I will never forgive myself to let her come to this world that I was not satisfied with.
So sad that I don't have any one to talk with...
We are so different, so different that we can't even manage to talk to eachother!
He is always so negative about everything and everyone!
Why do I continiue to live with him?
I think I am afraid of him! There is no LOVE/LIKE or even a habit to live with him. I am afraid of him since we got married! That's all. All these years I tried so hard to like him; find a way to understand him and the problems he has had in his past and childhood, but I didn't succeed.
I fought for every details everyone can imagine. I got some of my rights like using perfume when I went outside, or changing my old home t-shirt when we were going to visit friends and their parents! Whenever I remember these I hate myself more... why do I continue to live with him?
He is not a confident person, but he acts like he is! That's why he doesn't want to have me with him in public. He, himself says he is the luckiest man because he has me! He says he couldn't think he could have had some one like me in his dreams! but he pushes me away all the time. He thinks he has to dominate the marrige to keep it! He doesn't know me at all!
I don't know why he tries to keep me if he thinks I have a relationship with another man? Does he really think I have an affair or it is just because he needs an excuse to behave like this?!
I am not a person who can stand foul language! I am not used to his abusive words he is using! A kind of language I thought just rubbish, unedjucated people use to protect themselves from all the problems they have had. Now one of these people is my husband!
I have to stand on my feet and leave him as soon as possible.
I need a man who loves me for real, and treats me well as I deserve. I know I am a smart woman and can have a good future without having him in my life.
The only thing that worries me is my daughter. I can not show her my feelings, because I feel soooo guilty to gave birth to her and I will never forgive myself to let her come to this world that I was not satisfied with.
So sad that I don't have any one to talk with...
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